Quarantine Reads: Granny by Anthony Horowitz

12-year-old Jordan “Joe” Morgan Warde lives a lonely life in the glamorous Thattlebee Hall in North London. He is often neglected by his tycoon father, Gordon Warden, and his illiterate and piano, trapeze, and tennis lessoning mother, Maud Warden. The Wardens never wanted a child in the first place, and so they weren’t quite sure how they had ended up with him. They merely saw Joe as an inconvenience. To them, children only meant runny noses, illnesses, and noise and so they hired a nanny to handle that for them. Joe’s nanny, Mrs. Jinks, and their senile gardener, Mr. Lampy, served as his only companions and guardians at home.

Joe never really liked his family or his luxurious home anyway. He didn’t care about the huge house, the garden, the expensive cars, or the sumptuous meals.

He would spend all day long dreaming about escaping; he would aspire to be a trapeze artist in a circus, a pilot in the air force, and even a relief worker in Bosnia. Joe felt like he was born in a very comfortable prison cell – he just wanted to feel cold, to be hungry, to have adventures, and to know danger. He felt trapped, and being a child; he thought that he had no control over his life. All Joe wanted was to have a taste of the “real world.”

When Joe thought his life couldn’t get any worse, he was visited by his 94-year-old Granny. Throughout his life, Joe was tortured by her. She was not only physically repulsive, but she was mean and scary – from her inedible and sloppy meals to her babyish and embarrassing Christmas presents to obligatory, leather-cheeked kisses. Everyone thinks that she is just old and that she means well.

However, Joe knows the truth. He has seen how she really is behind her “innocent” mask and has gotten a glimpse of the wicked glimmer, almost crocodile-like, look in her eyes – she is pure evil. He eventually realized that his Granny is nothing but a vengeful human, out to humiliate and torment him at every turn. He has witnessed her eliminate Mr. Lampy and Mrs. Jinks, in her endeavor to take away his only meaningful human relationships.

And now she’s out to get Joe to use him for his youth – unless he can stop her and her group of evil grannies first.

When you’re in the mood for something light to read with humorous and action-packed scenes, read Granny by Anthony Horowitz. It is a fun and quick read that will likely be popular among tweens (10-12 years old) longing for books to practice their newly discovered senses of irony and satire. There is never a dull moment in this book – from Joe’s frustrations about his neglectful parents and snobby relatives to his dreams of escaping his home to live a life of adventure to his struggle of escaping his Granny’s wrinkled and leathery grasp. Promise, you won’t regret it.